I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
