i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
