I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
send nudes
from the living room?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
