1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
