new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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