Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
