I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
