can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
