I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
