Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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