THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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