I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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