well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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