I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
