The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
