walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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