my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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