just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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