if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
