It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
