Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
