dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
