im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize