yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
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I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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