dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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