i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
