Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
