i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
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You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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