I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
