Non-Jews are for practice
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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