so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
