OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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