Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
