her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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