wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
