i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
