You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
