if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
