It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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