about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
