I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
