quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
