If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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