He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We have so much sex to catch up on
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
