party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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