WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
