In the future we'll all be gay
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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