I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
