We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Never underestimate the power of titties
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
