I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
