i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
