I think I died a long time ago.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize