i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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