Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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