He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
