i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
