oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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