Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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