Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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