Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
