David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
