Where did you get a picture of my penis
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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