Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
