Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
